New beginnings is a theme in my life. The astrology readings, decisions in society, things are about to change in this world. Change can have a lot of depth to the word. The connotations we have with it; intense, drastic, negative, overwhelming. Maybe that's because it's unfamiliar territory. We don't know what will happen with change.
Some of us are excited by the idea, excited by the unknown. In my experience, these people have often experienced a change that wasn't negative and they have the ability now associate something positive happening with change. They've had a change in perspective.
I have created an expectation on a change that I'm currently experiencing. November has been a month of self development for me. Deep meditation, incorporating practices in my daily life and becoming more aware of the energy within my self. If every day no 'drastic' changes are noticed, I noticed I began to react with disappointment.
But there are changes happening.
Sometimes there are those exceptional times when change is sudden and nothing seems as it was before. This can often be an example of negative perceived changes I mentioned before.
But most of the time, changes happen gradually. Not many things can change someone's perspective quickly.
I am changing, I am growing, becoming who I want to be and developing my self into what I truly am. I look at the past two years and see parts of which have added to the puzzle of my being. And to focus in on one specific time of my life and observe who I was then...that shows me great change.
I continue to have expectations of myself. These help me reach my goals of who I strive to be. But my expectations need to be realistic and are to be used as motivation. I try not to have too many expectations for others because as they slowly change too, I am not necessarily involved with their evolution. My expectations of that person can become quite unrealistic, quite easily.
We are all changing, evolving - sometimes we must learn the same lesson. Until we allow that lesson to shape our perspective. How else can we ensure not to make the 'same mistake twice'? A lesson I am challenged with over and over again is that I tend to feel sorry for myself - living up in my mind. My heart knows better and my mind likes the drama of it all.
Sometimes I just sigh at life. Have my moment and continue to trek along. Sometimes blind, sometimes determined, but always changing. Never worried that I'll drop one of my puzzle pieces that make up who I truly am.