It feels like just yesterday I was digging my toes in the sand and just moved here with nothing but my suitcases.
There have been some MAJOR shifts in the works since last July and I'm sure you've felt some of those bumps with me. So far in 2018 we've experienced, Winter solstice, 2 super moons, a blue moon, a lunar eclipse, a solar eclipse, and now spring equinox. [Take a look at the link below for more info on what these moons mean]. Before sharing with you what I intend to share with you, I must first provide a bit of reflection notes of how my present has came about.
The full moon that happened early July 2017 had a focus on surrendering. For me, I struggled with surrendering my control to make decisions about what path I was to take and where my direction was headed. Allowing myself to surrender, I could say yes to any opportunity and with a brave step forward commit to the work ahead of me, no matter what lied beyond it. Knowing that having control empowers me - I could never dissolve this urge and so I found ways to redirect this control by creating the results I wanted. Even though I did not get to choose what was presented to me, I still felt empowered to decide what would come out of the experience.
Ending a huge chapter of my life in August 2017, it was clear to me that freedom was what I craved. During the process, I worked hard to remind myself that if my decisions were made through unconditional love, there is nothing to fear. I had known for a while that the right moment would happen when it was meant to but as I approached that moment I couldn't believe how intimidating it was - I knew that conversation would change my whole life.
Be not afraid of what you must overcome in order to be what you must become.
I chose it was time for me, and time for new opportunities to find me. These would probably lead to harder and tougher experiences than I've ever had before, but I was ready; ready to say yes and be uncomfortable and to grow and expand. I was ready to delve deep into my purpose here. I had worked hard on exposing some fears of loneliness, loss, and abandonment. {The work I did was not to get rid of these fears and I fully expect them to pop into my life every now and then.} I felt like it was time to continue learning and I needed to find that source that could teach me more about me. To me, that source was freedom, as it had been in the past.
Finally, in the Fall, I was beginning to feel my independence return to me and could feel the shift take place of my new beginning: Recognizing how much fear I had let go to be in the present moment, grateful to all the support I've had, and appreciative for the space I gave myself to heal. Feeling a bit ungrounded, I was lost in the chase of instant gratification; the only thing that kept me distracted from the feeling that my life was unrecognizable. Knowing it wasn't my time to look for a soul mate, I kept busy chasing new connections. My world was surrounded by detachment, acceptance of the unknown and excitement of what's next.
In the winter, I felt like I had shifted a bit more into feeling like an adult. Like someone pushed my adult button...activated, suddenly feeling slightly more patient, a little it wiser and a lot more responsible. Reminded to take true personal responsibility for my actions - a level of awareness I will never understand how other people can ignore.
The New Year brought with it a lot of unknown, but it stopped being scary. My returning focus was the practice of being present and so I coasted through a few weeks of just being - having a bit more reflection and thinking a bit less about the future.
I don't know what this year will bring, but all I can do is have an open heart and mind and continue to choose love over everything.
...To be continued.
Reference Moon Chart here;
https://www.universallifetools.com/tag/full-moons-2018